i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
