I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
