last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
