is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
