how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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