But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
