I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
