I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Everything about him screamed your future.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
