ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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