I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
