Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
