You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
