One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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