Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
