He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
