Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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