I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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