I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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