walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
