He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
