We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
