home. puking in laundry basket.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
