I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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