I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize