i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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