My room smells like vodka and shame
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
