The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
