You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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