She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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