i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize