let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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