i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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