I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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