I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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