1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
