Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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