theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
