Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
