At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
