Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
