I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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