didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize