My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Houston, we have a blender
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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