What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize