Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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