You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
