Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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