Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I understand Curling. That high.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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