you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
