a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
