i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
only you would photoshop your dick
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
