Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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