a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
