my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
