took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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