when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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