so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
