We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
