Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
