We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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