one might say we're banned from that church
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
