i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
