Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
