I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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