I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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