I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
