I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
