omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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