Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
