idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
