Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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