I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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